How I Beat Alcohol

Posts Tagged ‘God’

My name is Bernadette and I want to tell you about how God has changed my life almost 6 years ago. I was born in a loving Eastern European family 60 years ago. My childhood was very good in spite of lack of money and growing up in a communist country. My parents were God loving people, honest and kind. Yet I always felt a bit insecure inside and being the “baby” in the family always craved attention. I was also a bit envious of my 3 older siblings that they had more freedom to stay up late and have friends over and I had to go to bed. So I wanted to grow up fast.

When I had my first alcoholic drink at the age of 14 I thought I found the answer to that problem and to all my problems it seemed. It took away my shyness, all my insecurities and made me feel free.So I chased that feeling for many many years. It did not get me too much trouble at the beginning, but looking back I started to display very alcoholic tendencies from early on: restless, irritable, and discontented when I did not get alcohol when I wanted; when I drank I was over the top grandiose and careless.

After I got married and had my children I realised that I did not have many living skills and even though I wanted to be a good mother and wife I started to rely on alcohol regularly more and more and it became my crutch to ease the pain of just barely coping with my responsibilities at home. I started to get drunk on a regular basis much to my husband’s disappointment.

I prayed to God that I could control my drinking, but I did not know that I was suffering from alcoholism and one drink is too many and hundred is not enough for an alcoholic. To save my marriage and my sanity I looked up AA in the phonebook in 1990 and went for my first AA meeting. It was an eye opener.For the first time I saw that there are other people like me feeling the same way and I am not alone feeling so horrible about myself and they way drank.

I stayed for awhile but after a long time when I d not go to meetings regularly my head started to tell me lies, maybe it is not so bad, maybe I am not an alcoholic after all, so I started drinking again and for several years I felt that loving connection with God started to almost disappear. I had no self respect left. His mercy stepped into my life on the night of the 23 October,  2003.. My loving creator and saviour gave me the gift of desperation.

Sober again he took away strong cravings from that moment onwards, so I never needed to pick up a drink since, and I am coming up to my 6th AA birthday in a few weeks. This was by far the biggest miracle in my life! I asked God’s help and He came and rescued me in my darkest hour. Since then my life is blissful and my heart is grateful. He gave my self respect back and my family’s respect. What a complete and amazing blessing. Thank you Lord, thank you God!

Bernadette B
Sydney, Australia

My first experience of the effects of alcohol was when I was in my mid teens – it made me feel suddenly relaxed and calm in body and mind.

I felt guilty because by alcoholic father was still alive then and I knew where alcohol could take me. I could see what alcohol had done to his health, personality and to our family. He eventually died from alcoholism.

I wondered in the early year how long alcohol would take to get hold of me. Almost immediately I started to think about booze when I was at work and how long till my next drink. People would say “Can’t you remember what you did and said last night” but often I could not “(blackouts).

I married and continued to drink every day and night to oblivion. My wife couldn’t understand how I could do this and perform my job as well. But I knew my job was getting less of me as the years passed by. Eventually my wife left me, taking our young daughter with her.

I reached my rock bottom some years later when I was diagnosed with severe cirrhosis and fatty liver, very high blood pressure, jaundice (yellow eyes) and red blotches all over my body. I was hospitalised and told when I was discharged that I had only 2 weeks to live if I continued to drink.

I decided to give sobriety “a go” but not to tell anybody. I knew this was my one and only chance. I can now say it was my higher power giving me the ‘gift of sobriety’ – the desire to drink was removed and I have not had a drink in nearly 13 years.

My first AA meeting came a few days later. I saw people who were really happy, friendly and well dressed. I must have fallen in love with AA from the start as I was attending 14 meetings per week in my early year of sobriety. With the help and love from my higher power I try to put the 12 steps of AA into my life.

My daughter is older now and is completing her university degree. She visits me regularly and we love to bushwalk in the Blue Mountains, attend Opera House Concerts, movies and go to the beach.

None of this would have been possible without my God’s gift of sobriety and the warmth and love I have been given from the members of AA

Peter from Sydney